If you think I am born anti-Confucian, it's just not true.
I was born neutrual, neither Confucian nor anti-Confucian.
But I had no better choice. I'd suffered horrific life all the time in the Han Chinese world, where we could see sun rose but we had no sunshine in our lives.
Why should life be so?
This question taunted me forever. And it's not just a question. It's the life in Hell. I had to suffer it.
But naturally, I dreamed of another life. I didn't know my dream was caused by the cruel reality in the Confucian world. I thought that people couldn't live better only because they didn't dream like me. But I was wrong. People don't have to dream like me if they don't live in the Confucian world. And if they live in the Confucian world, their dreams will be crushed for sure unless they either dream like Confucians or bravely reject Confucianism.